Simply Someday

It's Anything But Simple, But It's My Life

Keeping Regular

willieWillie Nelson once said “I like myself better when I’m writing regularly”.

I’d have to agree with him. I like myself better when I take the time to sit down and put my words down.  However mundane, witless, or boring; I just feel centered, more in touch with my life.

Like any person, I don’t generally take the time for myself. I don’t spend the time I’d like to spend writing.  There is always something to be done, or finally at the end of the day I feel like my brain is mush. I don’t know how I did it as a student. It seemed no matter how tired, hung over, or even drunk I was, I still managed to write and get kick ass grades. Somehow I’m guessing I would score far less stellar marks. Far. Less. Stellar.

I think part of the reason I do this whole stop and start thing to my writing is, I stop when things are going well, writing has always been my ‘therapy’ and when life is good, I don’t need it. I tend to turn to my blog when things are shitty, sad, or I’m angry. Right now, I’m none of those things. Life is wonderful. Really fucking good actually.

Elliot has been here since June, he’s actually back in Wisconsin for a few weeks visiting Family. There’s a new niece, and people who’ve missed him tons! Joel has been here since May, my daycare is full and my Paisley is awesome. She loves school and is doing great.

I’ve talked about making our third bedroom an office/writing area for us, I’m really hoping to do it soon. I think if I can get my ass away from everyone else and all the household distractions, I may actually sit and write more often. Here’s hoping.

So my goal for the next 2 weeks is to spit out 3 blogs. It’s time to get this train back on the tracks.

One more quote. This one by Cyril Connolly:  Better to write for yourself, and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self.”

That Cyril Connolly was a smart lad.

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Simply 36…

Bring on 36!

Bring on 36!

I’ve spent the last few days reflecting on my life this last year. It’s been a helluva year, but it’s done. I survived in more than one way. When I think about what my 36th year will hold for me, I’m excited; I’m looking forward to the unknown, and am waiting for new adventures to unfold.

No one sets out and says “God I think this is going to be a shit ass year”, but last year I did. Last March I was in a bad place. I was trying to play family with Shaughn, keep it together while he was gone 14 hours a day, run my business, be a friend, a daughter, and a mummy. I knew that it was going to be hard. I didn’t anticipate cancer, or our separation.

I’m starting this year differently. I’m mentally in a better place, I love my new life despite a few blips in the chart. I’m cancer free (Almost 6 Months!!!!), I have a much better relationship separated from Shaughn than I did with him, and am in a relationship that makes me happy.

I’m starting 36 feeling renewed, like I have my whole life waiting for me, I just have to get out there and grab it. I am starting to think about things I’ve not done in years, I’m planning things that make me happy, I’m doing silly things, because they make me HAPPY! I’m over the days of caring what others think of me, I’m living my life as me. Like it or lump it.

Some people haven’t liked it. That’s ok. I’m not looking for their approval, I don’t need it. All I need is to do what is best for Paisley and myself. She is and will always be my first priority. As long as she is safe, happy, and has her needs met, I think we’re doing well. Fortunately, she is and has all of the above. Fortunately, so do I.

Tomorrow I am spending the day in yoga pants, alone. I’m not getting out of my bed, I’m not seeing friends or family. I know this has also upset a few people but I need some time for myself. Alone.

The only thing I’m missing is a pint of Ben And Jerry’s ‘If I Had 1,000,000 Flavours’

Do You Think They Deliver?

Do You Think They Deliver?

Happy Birthday To Me,  Here’s hoping 36 is everything I’m thinking it will be.

 

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